ordinary miracles

one toe in

2011-04-25T12:39:00.002-04:00

tiptoeing back into blogland.

pretending it hasn't been almost a year since my last post.

ho-hum.

giving up capitalizing so it will seem less daunting.
(as if pressing that dreaded shift button is oh-so-cumbersome)

giving up posting only photos with good clarity, exposure, color, contrast, white balance, bokeh, blah blah blah....this is my family blog and who the hell cares but me...no one.

giving up editing my writing...it's as-is, people.

ok....i just backspaced and cut-pasted.

damn. will need to work on that one.

acting as though i do this blogging thing every week...while simultaneously trying to remember how to even post a photo on here.

yikes.

Easter weekend at mom's...she made such a fuss to make everything fun and crafty and memory-making.

i love when she does that. :)

i love my family. i know everyone doesn't get along with theirs, and many people dread family get togethers.

i got very, very lucky in the family department. they are my favorite people in the world.

how amazing is that!?

the weekend was filled with some good cousin memory making. since we all have one boy and one girl, we are determined to give our kids a good dose of same-gender interaction. (code for: i wish katie had a sister, and jordan had a brother...but that would mean four kids and that ain't happenin')

enter cousin time...aka, the best brother and sister bonds i could ever hope for...

engrossed in TV...Happy Easter

katie: "this huge chick on the table is kinda creepy and freaks me out"

and can i just say how proud i was of my boy this weekend??

ok...i will.

jordan is 15.

freshman in high school.

thinks he's super cool.

ATTITUDE.

eye rolls GALORE

he also happens to know everything, so don't even TRY to tell him different.

he made the varsity lacrosse team this year, so that makes it even worse.

in a word, he's JUST....SOOOOO.....COOL.

i brace myself for his teen attitude-eye roll-why do i have to hang out with these people even though i know they love me-IT'S ALL ABOUT ME, MOM......vibe.

well, even 15 year olds can surprise their mamas, apparently.

he smiled. he shook hands. he answered questions with eye contact. he engaged in conversations with the entire group. he smiled at his cousins and even played wrestle-catch-swimming with them. he stayed in the same room instead of curling up with his ipod in a quiet corner of the house.

these are big things in teenland.

as for the easter rituals, i figured he would be too old or just plain disinterested.

surprised there too...hmm.

my boy colored eggs like he was performing a science experiment.

if it didn't happen on facebook, it didn't happen.

and then it was back to this sight...around noon or so:

can't have it all, I guess. :)

xoxo
jc

Hyatt Happiness

2010-09-13T00:32:00.001-04:00

we go every summer. for 7 or 8 years now...we can't remember.

it's a weekend of laughs-tears-stories-more-laughs-get-on-each-others-nerves-just-a-little-bit-because-we-are-family-more-smiles-belly-laughs-stay-up-late-talking-lounge-by-the-pool-lazy-river-and-just-be-pampered...weekend.

this year it was wedged firmly between family vacations, sports schedules, home renovations, baby showers, home relocations, and the upcoming birth of Baby Grady.

it almost didn't happen.

but we made it happen.

(disclaimer...the following pictures are posted with no particular rhyme or reason...and with very little commentary because a)I am very tired from Hyatt weekend and b)have also been told by above family that sometimes gets on nerves that I "need to post more" and not worry about writing.)

Here ya go, bitches...(aka mom, molly, and kelly)

Love you more than words.

Hyatt Weekend 2010...

this is the most beautiful lobby in the history of hotel lobbies. no question.

this girl...at 37 weeks pregnant...was a trooper. Even though she doesn't care for that word...she was.

we didn't play checkers...but I love that we could have.

poolside view...People magazines...lively banter...HEAVEN.

and...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOLLY...

you make 40 years of life look pretty damn good.

mom can't believe her "baby" is so grown up. somehow I can relate. :)

and can I get a whoop-whoop for the random, cheerful man who wore these shorts on September 11th, and seemed to love parading them around the pool area??? we loved him for that.

thank you to the hubbies at home...who cheerfully "daddy" our kids and truly enjoy spending time with them alone...we are lucky to have you.

xoxo
jc

2010-07-21T01:52:00.042-04:00

I cherish my childish loves...

the memory of that warm little nest where

my affections were fledged.

~George Elliot

Waseca, Minnesota.

Population 9,611.

a little slice of Americana heaven...and a blessing to me.

Just the mention of the town...like when our family gets together and someone says "remember in Waseca"...and my heart floods with images, memories, stories...that make up the fabric of who I am....

Memories.

the train that went by our house every morning and every night

hopscotch in the basement next to Dad's workbench...on the floor that had the coolest checkerboard tiles

holding molly by her feet as I dangled her happy body down the laundry chute...and getting in HUGE trouble for that.

going for walks to "The Little Store" for penny candy

picking dandelions and blowing them into the wind

4th of July picnics and fireworks at Clear Lake Park

searching for four-leaved clovers in the backyard...and finding some

having to wear a snowsuit under my Halloween costume

sitting next to Mom on her sewing bench...examining her busy hands stitch badges onto my Brownie sash

Red Rover

playing circus as I walked along the entire length of the top of the red fence that enclosed our backyard

jumping that fence to pick fresh raspberries and rhubarb from the neighbors' gardens...eating our treasures from under the stream of a garden hose...everyone had gardens and everyone shared.

dancing in mounds of fall leaves

see-saws

walking down the basement stairs on my hands, head first

sneaking down those same steps on late nights, spying on babysitters....or even better, wild parties thrown by mom and dad. the sounds of loud music, shouting, and belly laughter were those I had never EVER heard from any grown up I knew. I still wonder about those parties...hmmmm

dad's keg of beer on tap behind the basement bar

dad stretched out on the yellow couch in the basement, wearing huge headphones, belting out George Jones songs so loud you could hear it from the kitchen upstairs.
(I think this may be keg related, can't be sure. I was only a kid.)

climbing to the very top of the front yard tree...clinging to the tallest branches as I stuck my head through the top....so I could see down the entire street.
what a sight this must have been. a thick, huge leafy tree... with a child's head stuck out of the top.

endless hours of Hide-and-Seek...in a house that was truly meant for playing Hide-and-Seek

bananas and cream

sitting inside my dad's car as he washed it...listening to the sounds of water and sudsy sponges splattered against the windows, as I played Olivia Newton John on his 8-track

Mom's garden...eating fresh green beans from our backyard

shucking corn with the family on the back porch...peeling the thick leaves back, releasing the wispy fibers to float across the yard

the first day of Kindergarten with my metal Scooby Doo lunch box.

badminton in the back yard.

sitting under our fragrant lilac tree and reading Nancy Drew.

the red and white striped swing set.

riding my bike so fast down the hill that my pedals couldn't keep up with the speedy wheels...so I just kicked my heels out and held on for dear life.

birthday parties...Mom went out of her way to make each one special, complete with a homemade bunny cake and always, ALWAYS a game of clothespin and musical chairs

countless trips the library...where I learned how to use the card catalog system, with tattered cards held in the small mahogany drawers I just loved to open and close. Finding a book was an adventure.

throwing Christmas paper into the fireplace to make cool colors

sitting with Mom at the kitchen table...learning a love for arts and crafts...she seemed to be able to make everything. still does.

walking to school every day...over the railroad tracks, down the hill, past the park, and down the street.

walking home from school in the winter and feeling the loud crunch of the snow under my boots with every step.

my yellow-gold, sparkly banana seat bike. emphasis on the sparkles.

family bike rides...Kelly on the back of Mom's bike, Molly on the back of Dad's, and me on said banana seat

biking to Dairy Queen, eating creamy cones with sprinkles, then heading off to the pastures to visit cows. Dad would "moo" at them...and they answered. Hysterical.

Mrs. Monty

sledding down the hill at the end of the street for hours...until Moms called us in at dark

running all the way home from first grade to see my new baby sister Kelly...I still remember being amazed at how pink and squishy she looked

sharing a room with Molly, convincing her to stay up way too late to play "bicycle"...which eventually erupted into a fit of giggles, getting in trouble, spankings, and guilt that I made her break the rules. I always did it again.

long drives to Grandma and Grandpa O'Reilly's house in Minneapolis, dreaded only because that meant we had to wear seat belts, which seemed like forever...turns out it was only an hour

TV shows in the basement...only 4 channels.....Mary Tyler Moore, Happy Days, Little House on the Prairie, Sesame Street, The Bugs Bunny Show, and Zoom

South Side Elementary...Mrs. Klomp, Mr. Homer, Mrs. Brecke, and Mrs. Miller.

Childhood friends...I remember their faces now like it was yesterday...Michele Berg, Tammy Lykken, Amy Prescher, Ann Klugartz, Mike Muedeking, and Bobby Kubat

playing on the railroad tracks, hearing the train coming, and ducking for cover long before it arrived...because that train held bad guys, fairies, princes, monsters...or whatever character played a pivotal role in our games that day.

walking across the tracks to feed horses handfuls of grass and flowers...their large, graceful bodies would meander over to the fence when we approached.

coming home each night, filthy and exhausted from a full day of outside play, welcomed with a hot meal, sudsy bath and bedtime stories.

If it sounds idyllic......it's because Waseca, Minnesota really was.

and I am so grateful.

We lived there until I was nine. Nine years of that friendly, small town, simple life, everyone-knows-everyone.....goodness.

I still remember hearing the news that we would be moving...dad was getting a new job at some dreadful place called Motorola and that meant we would all be moving to some place called Florida...which further meant I would have to leave my friends, my school, my neighborhood...

and my home.

I didn't want to go. I fought the move. I cried. I begged. I didn't want to move away from everything I loved to everything I didn't know...and it didn't help matters that my nine-year-old brain was convinced for some reason that kids in Florida went to school under Chickee Huts on the beach and wore loin cloths...hoo boy. My poor parents.

Turns out that the tipping point to get Little Miss Resistant on board was just two little words:

Disney World.

Fast forward 33 years...

We went back home. Mom, Molly, Kelly and me.

Back home to 805 5th Avenue South East.

and not only did we visit our childhood home, but we were blessed enough to be welcomed inside by one of the nicest, sweetest souls I will ever meet. Neil and his family have lived in our house forever too...and love it just as much. He took the time to show us every room, tell us every story he could think of, and he listened intently to ours. Bless his heart.

As we walked slowly across the lawn, under the trees, through the backyard, through the front door, and inside every room...

I felt a flood of endless memories...over and over...ones that I had tucked away for years but had always kept close to my heart.

To most this is just another house...

for me..........it is HOME.

and remember the laundry chute??
enter exhibit A:

exhibit B:
(how did we ever fit her body in there?)

view from my bedroom window was still the same, sans red fence...

mom and dad's bathroom...I knew they were going out on any given night if my mom had blotted her lipstick on a crumpled up tissue, located somewhere inside here...

and the basement...oh, that wonderful basement.

it was nearly identical to my memories...

and the familiar, comforting scent of knotty pine nearly knocked me over with memory overload.

the original barstools...there they stood...

and the magical checkerboard hopscotch floor next to Dad's workbench...

there it was, staring back at me, as if to say...do you remember me?

even the sauna Dad built was still standing...I remember him downstairs in the basement working for hours, days, months on his special project...until finally it was done.

Dad built a sauna in our basement.

Saying that aloud seems so bizarre (who builds saunas in their house??), but back then, it all seemed so normal. Ha.

He even displayed a sign, all official-sauna-like.

Use at your own risk, people.

back outside...I didn't want to leave.

to a view of our next door neighbors...The Shumachers house...where we spent endless hours...

and the tree....THE TREE.

the best climbing tree ever invented in the history of trees.

(well...it will always be my favorite anyway)

This is a tree I could hug.

with the best view of Waseca from here:

Thank you to Neil, and the entire Dickie family, for allowing us to visit "our" home one more time. There are no words to describe the magical day you gave to 3 Waseca girls and their Mom. We will never, EVER forget it.

One of the most comforting things about going back home was meeting Neil...such a good soul, who lives in the house that was so good to us....and he loves and takes care of that sacred house just like we would.

I feel so blessed for that day. Somehow, strangers who grew up in the same house, loved it the same, and met in the most random arrangement of events have been bonded together in a very special way.

A sign inside 805 5th Avenue SE says it all:

Home...

it really is where your heart is.

xoxo
jc

ripping off the band aid

2010-05-03T16:24:00.008-04:00

staring at a blank screen.

candles lit.

music from blog playing in the background for inspiration.

i got nothin'.

been so long since i've been here...

and although i always knew i'd come back...

i also never dreamed it would take so damn long.

ok, stop the whining already...time for some pictures.

and yes...i WILL be going back in time, oh...about a half a year or so.

YOWCH.

i guess that's what ripping the band aid off is all about...it's sudden, messy, and hurts just a little bit...

but never as bad as you think it will be.

Behold...Thanksgiving 2009.

WHEW....that wasn't so bad...time to go now.

WAIT...one more...from the mandatory girls' night at Chili's...

memories are made at Chili's.

on barstools.

bottomless chips and salsa.

round the clock happy hour so drinks come in doubles.

always laughs, sometimes tears... and it's where my soul is fed.

cheers to that.

...and apparently my husband and son didn't exist during Thanksgiving weekend 2009.

that's what they get for golfing on Park Day. ha.

I'M BACK!!!

band-aid less.....and happy.

xoxo
jc

time for some happy stuff

2009-12-02T00:17:00.018-05:00

Lots of happy things happening in our home too...

and it's time to give those moments some attention.

Like my daughter's 11th birthday.

First of all, I am astounded that she is eleven.

ELEVEN.

ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what the.

I remember her natural childbirth (not my choice) that was the most painful yet gratifying moment of my life. Still shudder to think about the pain tho. :)

I remember how I loved having a baby girl. Everything was pink and I still love every second of having a daughter.

I remember her strutting her little toddler self around like it was last week. She still has that strut.

I remember how her smooth straight hair seemed so shiny in contrast to her youthful chubby cheeks and squinty smiling eyes.

I remember how I later adored pulling that hair into thick pony tails.

I remember how she always seemed so confident and self-assured. Still does.

I remember how she was always so emotional and so frustratingly like myself.

I remember when she didn't speak for almost two years, and she learned to sign just to communicate basic needs.

I remember when she finally began to speak, she never stopped.

To this day, I love, love, LOOOOOVE our conversations...

she was well worth the wait.

She is a treasure to be with, and I feel privileged to be her Mama.

It feels like God said, "Look...I'm gonna give you a really special one here...so don't mess this up".

That's how it has always felt with our Kaitlin Taylor.

Don't mess it up.

some random pictures from celebrating Katie's day...

LOVE

THIS

KID.

ELEVENTH BIRTHDAY SLEEPOVER CHECKLIST:

invite lots of girls...check.

3d movie...check.

order pizza...check.

make ice cream sundaes...check.

play Manhunt outside and then jump into the pool...in your clothes...in the rain...check.

snuggle into jammies, spread out sleeping bags in front of TV...check.

send parents to bed...check

giggle all night and play truth or dare...check, check check.

ignore reminders from parents brave enough to leave their bedroom and tell us to "keep it down" (eye roll)...check

wake up slowly in the morning, but begin the giggling very early again...check.

continue to giggle endlessly at every possible thing...check.

eat homemade waffles made by sleepy mother, whilst keeping giggle level high...check

watch 13 year-old brother periodically walk by and observe all of this in absolute horror...CHECK.

jump in the pool and run through sprinklers until it's time to go home...check, check, check.

this letter is just one tiny example of why we love this girl so much...
she has a quirky, funny, thoughtful heart that leaves me drowning in gratitude for the fact that she is mine.

Happy Birthday, Kaitlin Taylor.

You are a beautiful soul and we are lucky to know you.

we thought it was a migraine

2009-11-07T22:37:00.014-05:00

it began as a headache.

he couldn't get out of bed

had to have a dark room

quiet...no kids...no tv

lots of liquids and excedrine migraine

didn't help

we tried everything

he just agonized in pain

slept when he could

we were miserable

did everything i could

brought him medicines, waters, cold compresses

made chicken soup

worried endlessly

begged him to go to the doctor

googled migraines

bought more meds and herbal remedies

friends brought over migraine drugs

nothing worked

that's when we knew

something was wrong

driving to the ER

i was scared

he was dying

the doctor listened to his symptoms

and said "i don't think this is a migraine"

i felt relieved to have answers

but afraid to hear what they were

doctors came and went

scribbled on his chart

he had to stay there

more tests

specialists were called

we would not be going home

tears in our eyes

hands gripped in prayer

this is going to be hard

i had to go home

and wake the kids

called kelly on the way

"please give me the words"

we practiced together

i woke them from a peaceful sleep

sat their sleepy bodies up on jordan's bed

looked into their innocent eyes

and searched my heart for how to say it

to tell them daddy is very sick

but the doctors are taking good care of him

and he will be fine

but inside i wasn't sure

putting on a calm brave face for them

was the hardest part

lots of questions

i wasn't prepared to answer

they wanted to see him

was that the right thing?

i had no idea

was just clinging to instincts

but i brought them

to his bedside

katie stared and played with her hands

she gave him her sacred pooky bear

the bear she sleeps with every night and never lets anyone hold

jordan ran into his arms and laid his body across his dad's chest

tears streaming down, not saying much

it was like a scene out of a sad part of a movie

but it was us

it was real

they broke my heart

but i was glad they saw him

brought the kids home

calling family

they swooped in

kelly took over my mom duties

dad stepped in

mom and molly dropped everything to come over

family by my side

was never needed more than now

i brought his clothes home in a bag

because they had rushed him by ambulance to ft myers

the familiar scene and scents of home

were now a stinging reminder

of what would no longer be

for a while

gathered what i thought he would need at healthpark (??)

the drive to ft myers

i cried

the whole way

finally could let it out

i walked into the beautiful lobby

plants, waterfalls, piano playing in the distance

still wearing sweatshirt i wore to bed, teeth not yet brushed

red bulging eyes, asked the sweet-faced elderly volunteer man at the desk

"can you tell me the room for james briggs?"

clicking away on his keyboard

his eyes scan the computer screen

he carefully writes the numbers down

and gently explains that this is an icu room

and do i know how to get there?

my tears begin again, legs go weak

do i know how to get there.

i don't even know how i am standing in this lobby right now.

he directs me to walk through the lobby, over the bridge, under the lit sign, turn left after the set of wheelchairs, and the elevator is on my left...go to the fifth floor

it was like charlie brown's teacher was speaking

wah-wha-waa-hhaa-wwahhhaaa

i mumble "but i didn't know he would be in icu"

he asks sympathetically if it is a heart problem

i can only shake my head no and point to my head

he looks like he wants to come around the desk and hug me

i wander through the lobby

frantic to find him

scared of what was happening to him

clinging to the paper with his room number

i make it to the elevator

push button number 5

people on the elevator take one look at me and then look away

it's not pretty

the doors open

to stark white walls

hallways in every direction

i don't know where to go

a random woman in scrubs asks me if i need help

i can only nod and show her the paper

she walks me the whole way, through endless hallways

and says in my ear, "it's going to be ok, he is in a good place, we are here for you"

i love that woman for that

a nurse stops us and asks me to wait in the family waiting room while she checks with his doctor

i sink into the vinyl chair and hold my face in my hands

fearing the worst

another family is in the corner discussing their loved one, but glancing nervously at me

it was the longest ten minutes of my life

finally i can see him

he is hooked up to everything

lights and beeps everywhere

looking pale

tired

helpless

and in intense pain

my husband

my sweet husband

my friend

my partner in life

their daddy

fighting for his life

against a burst brain aneurysm

i hold him for a long time

we are scared

but we will get through this

we have to

in the midst of all the tubes, lights, beeps, monitors...

i notice something in his hand

i ask him what it is

he holds it up high in the air

it's katie's bear

i smile weakly

and somehow know

God will bring us through this

and He did.

after 13 agonizing days of pain, waiting, praying, testing, diagnosing, treating, angiograms, ct scans, mri's, medications, meetings with doctors, IV's, tubes, monitors, beeps, blood draws, sodium checks, worrying, planning, tagteaming with family and friends, phone calls, emails, texts, 45-minute car rides, bonding forever with doctors and nurses, depending on family and friends more than we ever have, and...above all...making this somehow ok and bearable for jordan and katie...

He did. Thank you God. Your blessings upon our family have never felt so sweet.

Hold your loved ones tighter than ever...life is precious...

...and thank you from the bottom of my heart for two weeks of endless love, support, kindness, generosity, thoughts, prayers, and GOODNESS bestowed on our family.

Our hearts are full of gratitude for the human spirit, and for God's grace in times of need.

Sometimes...
God calms the storms in our lives
and sometimes he just rides them with us.

Thank you, God...

and Kelly and Molly and Mom and Dad...

and more than a hundred dear friends, near and far...for riding this storm with us.

God Bless,
Jennifer, Jamie, Jordan, and Katie

Renewal

2009-10-04T21:39:00.022-04:00

Through the age of eighteen, I went to church nearly every Sunday of my life. Mom made sure of it. Every Sunday morning, she pulled her three girls out of bed... all dressed up, hair brushed, faces scrubbed, ponytails in....and off we went.

There was even one Sunday we all wore matching dresses Mom had sewed. Dear God, if a picture existed of us all walking into church that day....I would pay a million dollars to see it now.

Most days we resisted. Didn't matter.

Most days we fought on the way. Didn't matter.

Most Sundays we talked, giggled, and poked each other through the entire service...it got so bad that Mom actually resorted to giving us a grade on church behavior. Mine was usually a C...perhaps a few D's. OK...so maybe there was an F. Molly was always an A, unless I pulled her into something. Kelly was little and got away with murder. (hey it's my blog so I'm calling it as I see it)

Didn't matter.

Mom was going to bring us to church, teach us about God, and ensure that we got our baptisms, communions, confessions, CCD classes, confirmations...so we would have a foundation of faith.

If sports or work schedules prevented us from attending Sunday service...we would go on Saturday night...when there were GUITARS. DRUMS. A TAMBOURINE FOR GOD'S SAKE. People on microphones saying things like "praise God" and "Hallelujah"...a sharp contrast to Sunday's calm, controlled, stand-up-sit-down-kneel-down-peace-be-with-you-and-also-with-you-repeat-after-the-priest-Hail-Mary-Our-Father-sit-down-stand-up-kneel-for-a-long-time-during-communion Catholic rituals.

My childhood is filled with memories of the place...the dark mahogany wood...soft spongy cushions....the candles...stained glass pictures with rainbows of light streaming in everywhere...the choir...priests who sang a capella and it kind of embarrassed me...scents of wood varnish, old and well-worn books, perfume, incense...writing notes to my sisters...the robes...feeling a mixture of reverence and intimidation for the priests...examining the neck of the person in front of me...frantically turning pages in choir hymnals in search of the correct number before the song starts...feeling proud that I knew exactly what to answer the priest when he asked....shaking hands with strangers and wishing them "peace"....receiving communion and trying to remember which hand to lay on top...looking at the huge sculpture of Jesus on that big cross....bowing my head...saying my prayers, and hoping that I was "doing it right".

Sometimes I still do. :)

Looking back, I am amazed...in awe....and proud of my Mom for believing in something so strongly for her children that she did it all herself. Pushed through our constant resistance and gave it to us anyway. I couldn't have been easy.

Thank you, Mom. (misty eyes)

Fast forward to eighteen years old...

I wish I could say I went to church after I left home for college.

I didn't. Not once.

I wish I could say I went to church when we first got married.

I didn't. Except on Christmas and Easter.

I wish I could say I took my kids to church with the same consistent passion and conviction as my Mom did for me.

I didn't. I let other things get in the way. Attended sporadically. Sent them to Sunday school sometimes. But we didn't feel like it was enough. They weren't getting a complete picture of worship, the idea of coming together with people from all walks of life, sharing their faith in God...only spotty exposures.

But whenever we did go to church, I always felt SO GOOD...renewed....refreshed...and we would say, "we need to go more...why don't we go more? Let's go more...OK? OK."

Rewind to three weeks ago...we signed Jordan up for confirmation classes...a year long commitment in which the family commits just as much as the student. We are asked to attend the mid-morning service, with Jordan's class to follow for an hour afterwards.

I have to admit it seemed daunting to make this kind of jump...it was going to a change...no more sleeping in...no more lazy Sundays with coffee and the paper...no more morning bike rides to the gym, with a casual brunch afterwards...no more just sitting around in PJ's all day, waiting for the afternoon nap to kick in, HA.

It meant getting everyone showered, dressed up, and out the door early on a Sunday morning...every Sunday...whether they liked it or not.

Just like Mom did for me.

And when I think of it like that...the decision was already made. :)

What I wasn't expecting...

was how much we all LOVE IT.

The service is filled with music.

GUITARS.

DRUMS.

ACOUSTICS.

An incredible singer with a voice and charisma fit for American Idol.

Words on a big screen so we can all sing along.

As I look around the church, I feel emotional...the band plays...the singer sings.....the drums pump a steady beat, filling every crevice of the huge, stained glass covered building with the most beautiful words and music... there are kids dancing...elderly people smiling, eyes closed...couples holding hands...toddlers clapping and bouncing on Daddy's hip...my own children singing along...Katie spontaneously wrapping her arms around my waist, as I kiss her head and smell the scent of shampoo from her damp hair...Jamie's deep voice belting out the words as he takes my hand...Jordan casually tapping his fingers on the pew as he sings...

Tears form in my eyes every time, and I instinctively push them away...seems silly....why would I cry at something so beautiful?

It's because I have missed it.

I felt at home. At peace. We all did.

The pastor delivers a message that makes everyone think a little bit harder about life...being a good person...trying your best...overcoming obstacles...and finding peace in every situation.

It fills me up. Sneaking peeks at the kids, I see they are listening...and it's sinking in.

Favorite quote of the day...

Sometimes God calms the storms in our lives... and sometimes he just rides them with us.

Love it. I couldn't imagine a more powerful, meaningful message for my kids to hold on to as they learn to cope with everything life brings. It's empowering for everyone. :)

Rewind to tonight at dinner...we are doing "Best And Worst"...in which each person shares both the Best and Worst moments or events of the day.

Jordan...my teenager, so full of being cool, mature, confident, blah blah blah...says his Worst was when he missed the diving catch in today's game.

And what was your Best, Jordan?

"its a tie....between singing in church and my confirmation class today. Both were really cool."

I can't wait to go back next week.

A Very Happy Birthday

2009-08-31T00:35:00.006-04:00

I sit here, staring at a blank screen, searching for words...words adequate to describe a man who gave me the happiest of childhoods, an unfailing sense of security, unconditional love, a model for loving parenthood, and many of the quirks now so firmly ingrained in my personality.

There are none.

He is simply the best Dad I could ever wish for.

If I had one wish for the perfect Father, I would wish for him.

Exactly as he is.

My Dad is 70 today.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

I love you with all of my heart.

And even though we were banned from "any type of birthday celebration"...

oh well.

Surprise!!

We had all been in cahoots for quite a while for this.......

We gathered pictures.

We wrote messages.

We emailed friends and family near and far, asking for birthday wishes, stories, and messages for Len Stout.

Our email boxes were flooded for weeks.

We copied and pasted, printed, agonized over fonts, mounted precious words from friends he hasn't seen in 20 years.

We scrapbooked.

The East coast clan snuck over across the Alley and were in town 24 hours without his knowledge. This is HUGE.

We baked a cake.

We booked a non-refundable appointment for him to drive a racecar at speeds of up to 150 mph. (gulp)

this image makes me laugh every....time.....I see it.

We TOTALLY got him. He didn't suspect a thing.

And I haven't seen him smile so much in a long time. :)

And because he has been "King Of The Christmas Morning Scavenger Hunts" for years...it was time for paybacks.

Katie was kind enough to video the entire process on her polka dot phone...

and I confess, I was the only one hesitant on this gift...(is it safe? will he like it? what if he doesn't go for it?)....

I am happy to admit I was 100% wrong...

He LOVES IT.

Memories of a lifetime made...check.

and true to form in most of our family gatherings at the Hutchie household...

THIS...

Mysteriously turns into THIS:

gee...I wonder who did it. (eye roll)

Then it was time for the best part...the book.

This huge, monstrous book that took on a life of its own as we tried to capture, record and pay homage to the thousands of words written about our Dad during the past 6 weeks...

Dear Dad,

Happy 70th Birthday! Today we celebrate seventy years of a man who has been the rock of our family, loved us through every stage of our lives, given us the foundation for lifetime happiness, and been a huge source of love and support through every peak and valley this life brings.

We listened when you said you didn’t want “some huge celebration”. We have been banned from throwing an extravagant party (even though you deserve hundreds in your honor). So, we will obey. No surprise guests are lurking around the corner, no “this is your life” moments…because we want to honor your wishes, and leave you feeling happy, content, comfy, and loved on your birthday.

However…there are so many hearts of people you have touched in your seventy years, and we just couldn’t bear to leave them out. Important people needed to be heard, and wanted to express what you mean to them. So, sitting around the pool during our girls Hyatt weekend, we devised a plan…send a small email request for thoughts, stories, and birthday wishes for Len Stout. The premise seemed simple enough…that way, Dad would have a small intimate gathering, but we could also include people from near and far. We thought we would receive a handful of goodies, a few stories here and there…and a Happy Birthday wish or two.

The response, Dad…was nothing for which we could have prepared.

Our email boxes were flooded with messages. Not only did they respond in droves, but people took it upon themselves to forward the request, and surprise messages popped up daily. The sheer number of words says it all…just a little over ten thousand words, to be exact…but the meaningful messages behind them all are something to behold. As we read each one, we were overcome with emotion, realizing SO MANY PEOPLE love and care for you. We learned not only have you been a positive force in our family’s life, but also in the lives of dozens and dozens of others as well.

So sit back, Dad…and let these words sink in…because you have spent your life showing others how much you care…and now it’s time for us all to give that love and care back.

You deserve it.

We all love and admire you more than ten thousand words can ever say.

-Your Loving Family

We stayed late into the night, reliving memories, laughing, and just soaking in this family that I love so much.

Katie was enthralled.

I am so thankful for this Dad.

and I am so thankful he is 70...acting like he's 50.

Happy Birthday, my sweet, sweet Dad...

May all your wishes come true.

Gratitudes

2009-08-25T23:40:00.024-04:00

Being thankful...and consistently feeling that way on a daily basis...is challenging.

Sometimes the demands and minutiae of life make the thankful parts cloudy...and the "I-have-to's" and "I-need-to's" and the "crossing-that-off-the-list-of-things-to-do's" garner too much undeserved attention and importance.

They get too much power.

More accurately, I give them too much power.

Blechh. Even worse.

Not today.

One of my favorite lyrics...in one of my favorite songs...by one of my favorite artists... goes like this:

"It's not having what you want...
it's wanting what you've got"
-Sheryl Crow
"Soak Up The Sun"

This song is a guaranteed dose of "feel-good-about-everything-in-your-life-and-lighten-up-and-focus-on-only-the-best-things" message. LOVE it. I like to blast it in the car and sing it at the top of my lungs. My kids know all the words...but I want them to know and live the message, too...as a cure for self pity, frustrating growing pains, mean girls, and hurt feelings.

Soak up the sun.

I'm gonna tell everyone to lighten up.

Every time I turn around I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you that makes you act the way you do

I'm gonna soak up the sun.

Soak up the goodness.

Everything else doesn't matter.

What I want....and what I've already got...it's all right in front of me.

(I feel a list coming on...cue drum roll)

Today I feel randomly grateful for...

-a relaxing, refreshing summer

-my hardworking husband

-cinnamon banana waffles

-abundant laughter in our home

-pets we love

-Katie's swimming talents

-inappropriate humor

-random, unexpected hugs from J&K

-sisters

-a son who still lets me into his teen world

-a fulfilling job I love

-jordan's changing voice

-loyal friendship

-life lessons

-date nights at the gym

-watching Kelly unwrap each layer of parenting like it's a shiny new present

-father & son time on the golf course

-chore lists for everyone

-BBG

-the chickee

-perseverance

-a really GOOD dog

-katie's organization

-douglas loving kindergarten

-great middle school teachers

-time to run

-the sushi dinner

-raft floating in the pool

-the rhyme game

-a great planner

-watching Jordan become a young man

-DVR

-Katie's happiness in 5th grade

-iced coffee

-the high road

-a cat who cuddles

-Target end caps

-4:30 power naps

-BBQ's

-how absolutely FUN my kids are to be with

-edamame with sea salt

-new comforters

-jordan's school schedule

-GAP clearance

-notes in Kate's lunch

-a teaching partner who "gets me"

-a classroom full of new faces

-planning time

-broiled blackened veggies

-Jonas Brothers memories

-tried and true friends

-thinking I could NOT love my kids any more than I already do...but then I do

-thinking I could NOT be prouder of my kids than I already am...but then I am

-a zoom lens for baseball games and swim meets

-Jamie's cooking

-out-of-the-blue kind words from Kate's teacher

-girl time

-uncontrollable laughter

-quiet time to think

-"Julie and Julia" - awesome movie

-seeing my kids so content

-deciding to make this list...and wanting to write more

-feeling really thankful...and determined to stay that way. :)

4th of July...in August

2009-08-04T00:09:00.013-04:00

Yes, I am officially posting this exactly one month late.

July 4th, 2009......posted on August 4th, 2009.

And I didn't realize that until about 35 seconds ago.

Must be "meant to be". :)

This year, Independence Day celebrations lasted two days...on the 3rd, our family joined Jordan's baseball team and their families for a Miracle baseball game...hot dogs, friends, beer, popcorn, and baseball...followed by a spectacular fireworks show over right field.

I loved it.

Then the next day...we followed the same family July 4th tradition...fireworks at the Naples Pier. It's always quite the undertaking to get things going...and sometimes, I must admit, I think "hmmmm...maybe it's too much trouble...we could skip it this year, it wouldn't kill us".

But then I look at my teen and pre-teen babies (yes, they will always be my babies, until I take my last breath) and I sadly realize that the clock is ticking on the number of years we have left to make this tradition a reality.

And that reality is enough to get our butts out of the house.

We scramble to fill coolers, locate bug spray, pile beach chairs into the back of the car, grab footballs and frisbees, stuff a charged battery in the camera, load everyone in the car, and head downtown to search for a parking space. We scan front yards and empty lots for a stretch of grass or concrete that will fit our car without getting towed or ticketed. Cell phones ring from family, with up-to-the-minute status reports on who has scored a space, with hopefully more room to spare.

I never think we are all going to find spaces in the same area...but we always do. :)

This year was especially wonderful, as Mom, Bob, and the Taylor family made the trip over to Naples to join us. Yahoo!

Grace loves her Mama...

I loooove how Lily is looking at Katie here...examining her so intently...with her pudgy little fists perched firmly in her lap...priceless!

So nice to have all the families together on one beach...memories made...check.

Jordan was trying desperately to light some fireworks in the wind, to no avail.
Aunt Molly offered to help, and together they made it happen.
Despite the grainy quality, this is one of my favorite shots of the night...

Love these people, and feeling ever-so-grateful to have them in my life...

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-22T02:15:00.010-04:00

Haven't posted for a while...and although I thought summer would bring endless opportunities for leisurely blogging, surfing, scrapbooking...we have been busier than expected so far.

Father's Day deserves a post, though.

So here it is.

Ta-dah!

We began the day with everyone in the house sleeping except the Daddy. He is an early riser (God knows why, but he is)...and the rest of us?? Not so much.

Most mornings are the same.

He makes the coffee.

He reads the paper.

He checks his email.

He goes for bike rides.

All before any of us are up.

Today was the same, and I'm sure the poor guy was just waiting for someone to get up and cook him some Father's Day breakfast.

We all got up around nine (not that late!!)...but he was already outside cutting the grass. I pulled Jordan out of bed and said "you better get out there and help him, he can't cut the grass by himself on Father's Day"....to which Jordan mumbled some sort of noise, pulled on some clothes, and stumbled outside into the bright sun.

I called after him, "you're a good son!!"

to which he answered "I know".

Katie and I got busy hiding clues to Daddy's Scavenger Hunt and mixing batter for homemade waffles. After breakfast (ok, more like brunch), Jamie followed clues to find one of his gifts, a Cleveland Zip Groove 58 degree wedge. (For the golf-impaired, this is a very special golf club that apparently lets you do very special things on the golf course). Jordan helped me pick it out in the shop...he was sooooo cute about it, as he knew EXACTLY which club his Dad wanted, down to the make, model, degree, and finish of the metal. And he was right, because you would have thought we gave Jamie a million dollars, he was so excited.

I wish I could say I snapped photos of any of this.....father and son mowing the lawn together....making breakfast....scavenger hunt...but no. My camera was out of battery (gasp), so there are no pictures. Only memories of a happy day.

However....dinner with Grandpa and the Happy Hutchies??

Beachside??

Oh, yes.

Happy Father's Day!

Note: in honor of Father's Day, and Daddies everywhere...the first seven songs on my playlist are some of my favorite daddy/mommy/parenting songs on the planet...and are always good for at least a few tears/choking up/goosebumps...at least for me. Have a listen... :)

Mother's Day

2009-05-21T23:45:00.016-04:00

I love being a Mom.

I love the title.

I love it so much I always give the word a capital M.

I love how my own Mom taught me how to be a good Mom. What a priceless gift.

I love how I became a completely different person once Jordan and Katie came into the world.

I love how I helped to create two really, REALLY good people.

I love how there are times when they only want Mom.
Only Mom can make it better.

I love how there are times when I only want them.
Only J&K can make it better.

I love how they consistently surprise me with the people they are becoming. This happens on a daily basis.

I love how being their Mom challenges me to be the best version of myself.

I love how when I fall short, they are old enough now to confidently call me on it.

and I love...REALLY love...

-smelling their skin

-kissing their temples

-smoothing their hair

-wiping their tears

-saving their day

-making them laugh

-listening to their stories

-watching them together

-learning from their young wisdom

-laughing hard at their incredible humor

-kissing them good night

-and kissing them awake. :)

I really, REALLY love being a Mom. And I feel infinitely lucky to be one.

This was my 14th Mother's Day....

...and no matter how many I will experience in this life, the second Sunday in May is always just as special as it first was on May 14th, 1995.

This year was wonderful.

I awoke to my little girl arriving at my bedside, with the newspaper in one hand, and a warm cup of coffee in the other. She had even convinced my husband to let her use his favorite mug.

It was quiet for a while. They know it takes me a long time to "wake up".

I sipped my coffee and read the paper. Well, I didn't really read. More like snuggled-under-the-covers-and-perused-the-paper-whilst-listening-to-the-sounds-coming-from-the-kitchen. I smelled delicious scents wafting across the house, and heard the sounds of containers opening, food sizzling, and conversation humming.

And I felt grateful.

"Katie, you take care of the strawberries"

"she likes her eggs spicy"

"let's give her some cheese grits"

"stop rushing me"

"Jordan, keep an eye on those biscuits"

"ouch, I burned my finger"

"someone needs to pour the juice"

"look out, hot stuff coming through"

"wash that pan"

"does she need more coffee?"

"you hold the present"

"here's her card"

"ok....let's go"

They all tumbled in bed with me, watching me eat, handing me cards and presents, waiting for my reaction, and just all around making me feel like the most special person on this planet.

It was my favorite moment of the day, and one I will never forget.

We spent the rest of Mother's Day playing at the beach with more family and friends, with other Moms whom I admire and truly think the world of.

A bunch of families celebrating our Motherhood under the beautiful Florida sun. Little do they all know, we are the lucky ones. Lucky to be Moms.

and here are favorites of Lily Grace....the child who has blessed our entire family with a heightened gratitude for Mommyhood, and all the joys that go along with it..........love this kid.

It was the perfect Mother's Day. Thank you, family. :)

This time he needs us...

2009-05-11T23:09:00.011-04:00

...My Dad.

our Dad.

The dad with whom God blessed his three daughters...the one who has been steadfastly loyal in his devotion to our happiness.

The Dad who makes us all wonder how we got so lucky.

The Dad who has been there for me at every turn. Every high, and every low.

The Dad who has cheered us all on...through every facet of life...and does the same today with his grandchildren.
He is the first one to tell you how amazing and incredible Jordan, Katie, Douglas, Grace, and Lily are. Just ask him. :)

The Dad who lives by..."If you girls ever need me...just ask".

The Dad who is always willing to lend a hand...give us a ride...help us move...make a delivery...fix something that's broken.

Well...now Dad has something that's broken.

This time... he needs us.

Knee replacement surgery...

My Dad is in pain.

He is hurting.

and I hate it.

Nothing cheers him up like his granddaughters.........he smiles from ear to ear when they come around.

It's hard to see my Dad hurting.

IV's.

Put to sleep.

Hospital gown.

Vulnerable.

At the mercy of doctors, nurses, therapists, medication schedules, and painful exercises.

But.........we will get through this together.

He will come back stronger than ever.

So now Dad............ you need our help...

We thought you'd never ask. :)

In Memoriam

2009-04-22T22:50:00.028-04:00

Feeling overcome with sadness tonight.

And if I don't write it down, it will seep into my bones and the right words will never come again.

I don't even know if they will come now, but I'll try.

Jordan's coach passed away unexpectedly this week.

He was a great man, husband, father of five, coach, friend....everything good and great in this world.

Our family knew him in his role of Coach. Jordan liked his baseball tips. Jamie would come home from practices raving about how "Coach Mike" was always so positive and encouraging with the boys. I could tell they were on the same page in that area.

And, Jordan became a better player and kid because of him.

I have found over the years in parenting...even though you can do every possible thing to raise your kids right...love them, hug them, validate them...give them the proper manners and social skills...help them through the challenges, but let them fall when they need to...expose them to great experiences in the world...protect them from the bad...and give them mostly good...it's still not enough.

there are always those people, in the most unexpected times in your kids' lives...

that will fill in the gaps with even more good.

Coach Mike did that for my son, and I will be forever grateful.

I remember one time after a disappointing game...he pulled Jordan to the side. Just my son.

Of course, I watched them. Coach Mike was all animated, waving his arms, slapping Jordan on his shoulders, and saying lots of "stuff". Baseball talk.

Jordan just stood there and nodded. Like he always does when a coach talks to him.

Big eyes. Nodding. Quiet. Maybe an occasional "ok".

I was dying to know what was said. Later Jordan relayed the entire conversation to me, but Coach Mike's message was:

You can do it.

You did good.

And you can do even better next time.

Tonight, the entire team slowly walked into Coach Mike's memorial service.

Wearing their uniforms.

Black bands on their arms, bearing Coach Mike's name.

Coversations stopped. His wife and son were overcome.

and I don't know how she found the strength to do it, but Mike's wife walked up to our team.

I watched my own son's eyes fill with tears...nodding his head as always... as she struggled to tell them:

"I want to thank you for being here. Mike loved you boys...SO MUCH.

He would come home from every single practice and say:

'These boys listen. These boys want to learn. These boys are respectful...and they look you in the eyes when you talk to them'.

He talked about you all the time.

Mike said more than once that your team was his favorite team to coach...EVER.
He was SO happy every time he came home from practice, and it was because of all of YOU.

So thank you for making his last months so happy. He loved you all so much."

I was in awe of the guts and bravery it took for her to step away from her own intense grief for a moment, just to speak the words that Mike would want the team to know.

Our boys will remember her words forever, and take that message with them, along with the lessons Mike taught...for the rest of their lives.

Coach Mike, Carla, Chad...and your whole family... this is for you.

Coach Mike...
Thank you for loving, coaching, and mentoring our boys. Our team will not be the same without you, and you will be remembered forever.

A Tale of Two Nieces

2009-04-18T10:10:00.011-04:00

I love having a daughter. I love her femininity, I love her strength, I love her wit, I love her sensitivity, I love being in her presence, I love the way she looks at the world....and I love...well, pretty much everything about her.

Now my sisters each have a daughter. And it's been a gift having a chance to relive moments from the past shared with my Katie...the milestones, the worries, the drama, the emotions, the bonding, the celebrations, and the ultimate joys that can be found in the early years with a baby girl...and each step is happening right before our eyes with these two...

Grace Elizabeth...

...spunky-smart-inquisitive-girly-tough-loving-sensitive-wants-to-be-like-big-brother-marches-when-she-walks-adorable-beautiful-faced-GRACE.

Lily Grace...

...blossoming-exploring-belly-laughing-independent-cuddly-loving-soaking-in-her-entire-world-gorgeous-always-smiling-smells-like-heaven-LILY.

I love these two like they were my own... :)

Ordinary Weekends

2009-04-03T22:52:00.015-04:00

Baseball has consumed our life lately..............

3-hour practices.

Father and son coming home tired on school nights.

Double headers every weekend.

Traveling to tournaments an hour away.

Eating Subway/McDonald's/concession stand food all day.

Finally catching on...and packing fruit, yogurt, granola, and water in a cooler.

Sunsceen, sunscreen, sunscreen.

Jamie on the stat book, taking notes so meticulously, you would think he was doing calculus.

Sitting with my Dad, watching the game. Grandpa loves to watch them.

The Hutcheson family coming for games, and watching David re-live his baseball days as he watches.

Lily Grace sitting on my lap, so I can smell her head.

Katie asking me for a dollar, every hour on the hour.

Running Gatorades to the dugout. Blue is his favorite.

Going through sunflower seeds so fast that it makes sense to buy the big case from Sam's.

Taking lots of pictures, and really having fun with my camera lately...

I am so grateful Jamie is right by his side through all of this.

He looks out for him.

He is an encouraging force when needed, and knows when to hold back to just let him make mistakes.

He is patient and calming during hitting slumps.

He knows how to read him, like only a Dad can.

Jamie is a really good coach...

...but more importantly, he is a great dad.

Then, there are the times after the games are over....when the pressure is off.........the players are just cutting loose...having fun...without any pressure to hit, catch, throw perfectly, no stats being recorded on their progress...when they can just be...well, boys.

Boys having fun playing barefoot baseball.

Oh....and this was priceless...after the team had gone 0-2 for the tournament on the first day, you would think they'd be exhausted.

But, NO.

Someone spied a huge dirt pile in the distance...and after repeated begging, they finally got clearance from the coaches to go explore it.

And...explore it they did.

It's moments like this that I'm happy we have committed this time in our lives to him.

Happy that he is surrounded by a really great group of kids.

Happy that he is learning work ethics and discipline.

Happy that we made the leap.

Happy that Jamie and Jordan will never forget this team.

Happy that they like it so much.

Happy that our family supports each other, no matter what.

Baseball makes him happy.

Happy son, Happy Mom...:)

I love this face SO MUCH...and the person behind it, even more. :)

Earning my stripes

2009-02-15T21:47:00.021-05:00

Mom stripes.

Every Mom earns them in different ways.......and at different times...

Staying up all night with a sick baby.

Nursing until your nipples bleed. And still not stopping.

Letting them "cry it out"...as you cry tears of your own in the next room.

Waiting in line for hours before dawn... for the right toy to surprise him on Christmas morning.

Standing up to another Mom who has wronged your child.

Reading bedtime stories as you struggle not to nod off.

Refereeing sibling arguments, in which you want both of them to win.

Hugging her as she sobs over the best friend that no longer wants to be her best friend....as your own heart breaks in a hundred pieces.

Surviving long car rides in silence after baseball game strike outs.

Playing a video game you couldn't care less about, but he loves it.

Moments in public, when...for terrifying seconds, you can't place your eyes on your child.... you think the worst thing in the world has happened...and your heart stops.

Throwing a slumber party that will be remembered forever.

Holding your tongue when she comes out of the bedroom wearing something that doesn't match...at all.

Saying "I'm sorry" to your child when you make a mistake.

Uncomfortable conversations... when they ask questions you are not prepared to answer...and you have think on your feet, do the best you can to give direct and honest answers...and then later hope you said all the right things.

Spending half your day working on scrapbook pages you can only hope they will appreciate someday.

Helping with a school project until the wee hours on a school night...that he left until the last minute to tell you about.

and of course.....watching them at a sporting event, cheering their every move, all the while praying with all your might that he/she will hit the ball...kick the ball...remember the routine...catch the ball...make the play...get a basket...make par...run fast enough...not fall down...not get hurt...and win the game so he/she will be happy and feel good about him/herself.

Lately, my "mom stripes" take the form of this:

Yes, it's true.

I volunteered to be the "cookie mom".

When I share this information with most people, the reaction is something along the lines of:

"wow, cool....... so you, like...get to have a lot of cookies in your house"

The reaction from people who KNOW...really know, as in like, have actual experience and/or contact with a cookie mom in the past...is more like:

"Dear GOD...you did WHAT!??"

It's been more work than I ever expected......

organizing huge orders of cookies.........moving case after case after case AFTER CASE, from warehouse.....to car.....to driveway........to den.....then back outside........to other cars.....writing receipts....counting boxes........navigating the computer program........distributing orders.......having people stop by the house at all hours of the day.......counting cash.........balancing the numbers.......making bank deposits.........being responsible for thousands of dollars.........

But after this is over, I am certain I will be happy and grateful I did it.

We did it.

Jamie and Katie and Jordan have helped so much, and it has really been a testament to how much our family pulls together when one of us is in need.

Memories being made...

Wanna buy some cookies?

Gratitude

2009-01-24T13:37:00.017-05:00

Things that have made me smile lately...

sunny and chilly days

bike rides

a clean garage

trips to the library

national championships

miami memories

good, true girlfriends

a job I love

jamie's humor

grandma time for my kids

wearing a scarf

jordan's dry wit

singing this song with Katie in the car...at the top of our lungs

two kids I love to be around

lily's MRI results

group power

father and son playing baseball together

katie's resilience

my students' faces on inauguration day

a rented condo

cold, cuddly nights with the windows open

conversations with katie

the feeling exercise brings

dad's healing knee

late afternoon naps

christmas parties

an incredible class

friday nights at Lucarelli's

a husband who has known me for 19 years...and still loves me

church sermons with a good message

riding our bikes to the gym for a workout...and next door for a beer

a new good book

healthy eating

tiny glimpses into the man Jordan will become

uncontrollable laughter at girl nights

andrea, the best teaching partner ever

working with my sister

kate's love for her new sport, tennis

and finally...grateful that this only lasted two days:

It's Great...to BE...

2009-01-04T14:06:00.020-05:00

...a Florida Gator.

especially lately. :)

I love my school. I love the orange and blue colors, I love Albert, I love the chanting, I love the chomping, I love the camaraderie, I love the fight song, I love the passionate rivalries shared with other schools, I love the connection Florida fans feel for each other, and I love that when I see a stranger wearing UF garb, I can say "go gators" out loud, and he/she will say it right back. :)

I loved living in Gainesville. It's truly a town like no other, and the entire place is consumed with everything Gators. The streets are lined with old bookstores, restaurants, "mom and pop" shops that have been there forever... and the campus is packed with historic, brick laden buildings, hilly roads, tall, sweeping trees, and really smart, interesting people. And although UF is a huge school, the cozy town of Gainesville has a way of making its students feel like the center of the universe (pretty good feeling for an 18-year-old).

It was a magical place to be.

I have memories as a young and naive college student living there, away from home for the first time, juggling classes with making new friends and laundry and partying and final exams and shopping for things like groceries and textbooks.(like when I rode my bike to Eckerd's to buy toiletries, bought too much to properly balance the bags on my handlebars, so the bags busted open and shampoo/toothpaste/deodorant/feminine products/etc. ended up strewn across the sidewalk...in front of, like, a LOT of people. That sight must have SCREAMED "freshman")

I remember being really homesick the first few weeks ...and then...slowly but surely...Gainesville, and the University of Florida, became my home.

I...love...my...school.

GO GATORS.

That said...there is a pretty big football game coming up...you may have heard of it.

It's called, uh YEAH, a little thing they like to call...the National Championship.

My mighty Gators will battle the Oklahoma Sooners for the whole enchilada (I don't think I've ever used that phrase before, but, there ya go).

I am beyond excited, and it's probably the only event that would compel me to stay in Miami for three days. Just sayin'.

-Where: Dolphin Stadium
-When: January 8th
-Time: 8:00 p.m.

Where I'll be at that moment:
-Dolphin Stadium
-section 149
-row 18
(or more likely and/or hopefully, jumping and screaming in the aisle with glee)

Here's a video to get my readers (all five of you) properly pumped up for the big game:
(and now I can NOT get this song out of my head, so beware)

Chomp Chomp! :)

Thirteen Years

2008-12-29T08:55:00.013-05:00

Thirteen years ago today, our world changed forever.

This is for you, Jordan Quinn...

Happy Birthday, my sweet boy...

Thank you for the best thirteen years of my life.

Lump In My Throat

2008-12-21T19:53:00.011-05:00

4th grade Nutcracker play.

They have it every year.

I knew she would have a solo.

I knew she had been practicing for weeks in the dining room with her earphones on.

I knew she would be wearing the white tights I bought her.

I knew her hair would be up.

I knew she had a little make up on.

I knew she would be cute.

But what I didn't know...what I wasn't ready for...was this sight:

I snapped away at my camera, trying to balance between documenting her every move...and pulling the camera away from my eye to just...watch her.

She has more poise and confidence at ten years of age than I had at 10, 15, or hell, even now sometimes.

She amazes me.

Take a bow, Baby Girl...

I loved how she would stand when waiting for her turn...and the following photo will be blown up into poster size...asap:

It's funny how, when there is a crowd of children standing in front of you, the face you focus on, the only one from which you cannot remove your gaze, is THAT one.
Here she is, demonstrating why her teacher describes her as somewhat "chatty":

If this night were not incredible already, there was something else that made it even better. My MOM surprised Katie by coming to her play.

Yes, the Mom who lives 3 hours away. On a school night.
Which means, work night.

Backstory:
Over Thanksgiving, Katie had asked her Grandma "Are you coming to my play?"

"Oh, I don't know, honey"

"But you came to see Jordan in the Nutcracker"
(he was the Nutcracker, and it was a huge deal)

"That's true..."

Hmmm. Mom said after that conversation, she knew she would make it happen. Unbeknownst to me. She just walked into the house as I was making ham sandwiches. She had skipped lunch in order leave work early, drove across the state of Florida, and walked into our front door so she could see her Katie dance.

Thank you, Mom. Tears form in my eyes as I think of it.

Katie will remember that forever. So will I.

And of course...there's our Baby Lily Grace. That sweet child sat on her Daddy's lap throughout the entire play, quiet as can be, chewing on a program, and cheering on her cousin. And she wore her pink tutu, just for the occasion.

Oh...how we love this baby.

And I love how many people love my child...

what a lucky girl.

A Tree Full of Memories

2008-12-14T21:30:00.017-05:00

"When tears are in your eyes
It's time to look inside
Your heart can find another way

Believe in what I say
Don't throw this time away
Tomorrow will be Christmas Day

Christmas Day...

So let the shadows go
And drift away like snow
Tomorrow will be Christmas Day
Tomorrow will be Christmas Day

Christmas Day...

So dream until the night
Becomes the morning light
Tomorrow will be Christmas Day
Tomorrow will be Christmas Day"

~Enya, "The Spirit Of Christmas Past"

Every time I open the box marked "Christmas ornaments", I take a deep breath, and brace myself.

Just a little.

Hoping they will still be intact, just as I remember them, just as special, like time has not altered them one bit after spending 11 months in the attic.

Hoping that they will all be there, with not one missing...that I will remember the significance of each piece, and that the memories each one holds will still feel just as fresh as they did the first day on that tree.

But mostly, I brace myself for the pangs of love I feel when I look at the photos. Younger versions of the children I adore so much. I miss those kids. I miss them dearly.

I ache to hold them, hear their voices, brush the fine hair from their foreheads, smell their skin, and just have a nice cuddle and chat.

And yet...I can never have them back.
It's just the way it is. Just the way it is for every mother in the world, but somehow I want to break the rules and travel back in time to be with my babies.

But alas...I can't. Their little faces hang on the tree now, preserved in glitter, popsicle sticks, glue, and tempera paint.

And that's what I brace myself for.

I teared up as I looked at them. I always do. J and K just rolled their eyes. Patted me on the back a little. One of them said "I knew she was gonna do that".

If only they knew.

Anyway...
Jordan and Katie love to trim the tree. They especially like finding "their" ornaments, and will rummage through the box until each one has a pile of their own to hang.

Despite being ages 10 and 12, their tree trimming skills could use a little work. They hang them in clusters. All bunched up in sections. They leave wide open, huge gaps of evergreen. My sense of symmetry, my need for it, is offended.

But I let them at it. Sat on the couch with Jamie, listened to the Christmas music, and we watched them dig, rummage, unwrap, sort, and hang each one.

In clusters.

And after her Daddy lifted Katie up to put the angel on top, as he does every year...

the tree was perfect.

Jordan loooves eggnog. I guess he gets this from his father. (Katie and I...not so much)

I miss this face...

Daddy's little girl...

My boy's Kindergarten face...(thank you, Mrs. Riddle...for the two following ornaments, I could not live without)

and again, for my girl: (needs some glitter TLC stat)

Our first year with Jordan:

And with Katie (I remember being excited it had some pink, that this felt so "girly")

Not sure which kid this was for...(this admission brought horror to my children's faces)

We gave this to Jordan when he played The Nutcracker in his 4th grade school play...the overwhelming pride I felt for him on that night comes rushing back when I look at this...

Thank God I dated some of these...

My three favorite Santas watched on...

My mischievious elf (her face says it all):

And this one from Jamie's parents, after one of their trips...I miss "Nana" and "Papa" during this time of year. They would have been so proud of the people my kids are becoming. And Jordan and Katie would be better people for knowing them. When Barb gave it to us, it seemed insignificant...just another ornament for the tree(Jamie's Mom always loved giving ornaments). Now, it's one of the most precious one hanging...right in front.

So...the tree has been trimmed.

Not one ornament matches.

They are chipped, dented, bent, and a little worn for the wear.

And asymmetrical.

But they are memories. Precious ones.

And I wouldn't have the tree any other way.

My heart is full.

Merry Christmas...

Coffee Talk

2008-12-03T00:19:00.009-05:00

About once a month...

on a weekend morning...

Jordan shuffles out of his bedroom, hair crumpled, wearing only his boxers...

and he declares (in his sleepy voice) :

"I think I'll have a cup of coffee."

So, we silently smirk as he confidently meanders over to the mug drawer, carefully chooses the appropriate container, measures his creamer, and pours himself a Cup O' Joe.

He slurps his coffee loudly, smacking his lips.

I sooooo love to watch him.

It is the cutest thing ever.

On this particular morning, he decided to add "reading the newspaper" to his growing up routine.

WHAT!!?? Who IS this child??!!

Uhhhh...cue Mom...snapping pictures.

I couldn't help it.

Is it possible to love him even more?? Yes...yes...YES.

Happy Birthday...part 2

2008-11-16T11:08:00.020-05:00

It's the place she has talked about since she was 4 years old.

It's the place she said "All my friends have been there, and they say it's AWESOME, Mom"

It's the place she has begged to visit, but because it's in the middle of Disney and all it has to offer, we never have. Disney won every time.

It's the place she looked at longingly years ago, from her Marriott hotel window across the street...disappointed that we weren't staying...there.

It's the place she wouldn't stop talking about, and we didn't know why.

It's the place that, frankly, we got sick of hearing about.

It's the place about which she wistfully said to her Mom and Dad, at nine and a half years of age, "It's always been, like, my dream-come-true-place".

Sigh.

Well, Happy 10th Birthday, Kaitlin Taylor. Your dream is about to come true.

We took her out to dinner, and after opening her presents, she was quite content. Smiling. Happy with the little gifts she had been given, and all around really enjoying being the star of the night.

Then she opened her last gift. It was a Spongbob pillow. She hugged it, and kind of looked at it funny, as Spongebob is not on her "Top 10 List of Cool Things In My Ever Changing Cool World".

But Spongebob was holding a note...

Oh and one more thing...you can bring a friend. And Lexi's Mom already said "yes".

We had more fun than can adequately be documented with pictures...but here's a slice of the memories we made, as our baby girl turned ten...

Jordan was a contestant on a game show by the pool...my typically mild mannered boy was out for blood, trying to fill up this bucket with his sponge soaked shorts:

Dance, Dance Revolution...You GO girls!!

Optical illusion?? Or just two girls giggling as they switched shoes?? You decide.

The following two pictures were taken from 6 floors up (thank you family, for my zoom lens)

Then...the topper of all toppers...our family was chosen for the nightly game show. It was strange how it happened, as the talent scout just came up to us in the lobby and asked us to apply. Turns out our kids are just the right age...not too young, where they would freak out on stage, and not too old where they wouldn't "get into it".

A live audience. Big stage. Game show music. Lights. Music. Microphones.

It was RED(them) against BLUE(us).

The prize for the winning team, you ask?

The team captain gets slimed.

Happy Birthday, Katie...

Your dream has come true.

How does it feel?", they asked. Her reply: sticky

Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Squarepants. Many memories made.

Random whining.... without pictures (gasp)

2008-11-15T11:33:00.019-05:00

I'm drowning in blogland lately. Have lots of pictures to share, tons of stories to tell, and less time than ever to sit down at my computer and just...write.

reflect.

soak it all in.

Every time I take a picture now, instead of thinking "wow, great shot, I love this camera"...I think, "oh crap, that picture is pretty cute, but it just added another layer of pressure to share it with the the world and come up with something profound to say about it".

Add that to a busy school life, an even busier home life, homework, science fair projects, spending quality time with two precious people seemingly racing toward adulthood, marriage, keeping house reasonably clean and properly decorated for each successive holiday, pets, friendships, running, working out, Christmas shopping (WTF), expensive condo revovations, collecting bids and organizing workers' schedules for said renovations, securing a tenant who (thank you, God) will actually pay rent this time and take good care of said condo, date nights, girlfriend time, sister time, lesson plans, volunteer thank you gifts, Katie's school play........arrrrggggghhhhhhh

Well...no more. No more pressure on self. I will scoff at pressure from others (not really, but it felt good to type it).

Yes, the song you are listening to right now has significance. And it makes me laugh every time I hear it.

More to come on Katie's Birthday....when I have the time.

And I'll probably add some pictures, too.

If I feel like it.

Briggs OUT. (pumping fist in air like a bad ass)

A Very Happy Halloween

2008-11-03T00:22:00.019-05:00

Because She's 10

2008-10-26T00:40:00.019-04:00

My baby girl is 10.

My baby girl is ten.

MY...BABY...GIRL...IS...TEN.

Mybabygirlisten.

No matter how many times I say it, write it, hear it from others, it still doesnt seem real or possible. To me, she will always be...

-Kaitlin Taylor, my chubby-cheeked-squinty-eyed-smiling toddler who had an air of confidence right from the beginning.

-The one who kicked me endlessly for nine months.

-The baby who wouldn't wait for the epidural.

-The baby I slept with that first night, and couldn't believe her features were so tiny and feminine.

-The newborn who had so much black hair that Jamie called her "Kim Su".

-The baby who was just so daintily beautiful.

-The one I fed breastmilk through a medicine dropper because she couldn’t latch on.

-The infant I slathered in pink, pink, pink.

-The one who slept on her tummy with one leg pulled up...and still does.

-The baby who loved to eat…anything.

-The one who watched 3-year-old Jordan’s every move…and ADORED him.

-The one-year-old who wouldn't talk...and worried us all.

-The girl who gave me such joy just by letting me brush and fix her hair in ponytails.

-The toddler who would try to ride the dog.

-The toddler who had a definite strut to her walk.

-The two year old who we thought might have a language barrier.

-The baby who stripped down naked every night in her crib.

-The one who we eventually had to duct tape her diaper into a makeshift belt.

-The girl who was so confident, yet so emotional, all in one...and still is.

-The toddler who organized all her toys in rows.

-The three year old who, once she began, never stopped talking, and astounded us with the vocabulary she had been holding in.

-The preschooler who, to her mother's horror, was the playground's self-proclaimed "Kissing Girl".

-The girl who had her Daddy wrapped from the beginning.

-The one who wrote her name all over her new bunk bed, first and last name...and later claimed, "It wasn't me".

-The preschooler who would play teacher and correct her friend's papers.

-The girl who could be destroyed when she was placed in Time Out. Still can.

-The child who could cry and laugh in the same ten seconds.

-The baby sister who gave Jordan his nickname "Jo-Jo".

-The girl who would talk to herself in her crib when she woke up…for as long as we let her. Happy as can be.

-The girl who loved to cut her own hair…and her Barbies, too.

-The girl who whispered to me, before the Kindergarten day began, sitting Indian-style in a dress: “Mommy…I’m…not…wearing…any…panties.”

-The girl who loved to snuggle “in the middle”…and still does.

-The girl who always had a way of “summing up” any situation in one profound sentence…and still does.

-The girl who loves to shop with me, and can always make the right fashion choices. For both of us.

-The girl who is developing a really wicked sense of humor...that I love.

………..The girl who changed my life.

My Katie.

She is TEN.

I can't believe she is this age, and yet I cannot fathom my life without this ten-year-old in it.

Happy Birthday, Katie.

You are my dream come true.

Pausing To Remember

2008-10-09T00:17:00.017-04:00

I have always wanted to visit Washington, D.C. There are so many historical landmarks that I have read about, seen in pictures...and as a citizen, I just want to stand next to them, see in them in person, and just share the same space.

I know I will go someday. And I know I will bring my kids.

This I know. Someday.

Until then...the Traveling Wall came to Naples. What an amazing organization this is. The Wall is a replica of the Vietnam Memorial Wall that travels all over the country, to share the memories with people who can't see it in person. It is a huge undertaking, requiring hundreds of hours of preparation, preservation, set up, and break down. Volunteers guard this beautiful memorial around the clock, 24 hours a day.

Sunday was the last day The Wall would be in our town. Jamie and I wanted to bring the kids there... to give them a taste of history, sacrifice, devotion to country, patriotism...all that stuff.

Sunday was very rainy. Ruh-roh.

This was the last place Jordan, Katie, and Blane (cousin who just slept over) wanted to go on a rainy Sunday afternoon. They wanted to go to the mall. To the movies. Or just stay home, make popcorn, and play video games.

There was a bit of complaining in the car. Sample comments included:

"It's so rainy."

"We don't even have an umbrella."

"Oh wait, we have one umbrella, but we can't all use it."

"I call the umbrella."

"NO...I called it first."

"Do they have rides there?"

"Stop kicking me!"

"What...it's just...like, a WALL?"

"I don't get it."

"Can we just go HOME?"

But we pressed on. Forced them get out of the car.

They didn't like it...........and they didn't GET it.

Until they SAW it.

Once standing in front of this immense structure...as we gazed at name...after name...after name...after name.......the only words that followed from the mouths of our babes were loaded with big questions, conversations about the past, and pockets of deep silence...as it all sank in.

For all of us.

Thank you.

Game Day

2008-09-13T17:32:00.021-04:00

The Crew:

The Quarterback (I love him):

The hand off to Cousin Blane:

The Cousin with his helmet off: (cutie!)

The way I find my son in the crowd:
(just look for the skinniest butt)

The tough guy stare down:

The Quarterback Sneak:

The Stiff Arm:
(at least I think that's what they call it)

The Action:

The Run:

The Bench

The Captivated Sister:

The Coach who is also Daddy:

The Relief:

The Encouragement:

The Brotherly Post-Game Strategy Discussion:
(actually just checking out Jamie's new phone)

The players:

The son who swells my heart with love and pride:

A Whole New World

2008-09-07T22:38:00.016-04:00

They practice 3 times a week right now. They leave around 5 pm, practice, and after stopping somewhere for dinner, don't get home until after 9. It's a crazy schedule. Sometimes I struggle with this decision we made, to let him play football....not only because of the time demands, but also how rough it is on his body. He came home the first week with new cuts, bruises, and a sore shoulder.
I do NOT like that. Mommies prevent injuries, not allow their children to do things that cause them.

But, Moms don't really have a say in football, apparently. Dads reign in this arena.

Sigh. Oh well. And so begins the process of "letting go". Just a little bit.

I tagged along the other day to watch. Document. And, of course, blog it. :)

It's really a whole new world, this football thing.

Lots of testosterone. The smell of freshly cut grass. Whistles blowing. Coaches yelling. Players grunting. Helmets crashing. Lots of drills. Players yelling in unison. Water bottles squirted into helmets. No sitting allowed...only "taking a knee".

My favorite moments were everything in between...

-motivating speeches from coaches
-finding #4 in the crowd
-the control the coaches have over their every move
-players moving "on the whistle"
-the fact that they play for the church, and their motto is "For His Glory"
-Jamie and John having great "brother time"
-Knowing Jordan has his Dad and uncle looking out for him
-kids learning the value of a good work ethic
-Jamie so happy to be coaching football again
-Jordan shooting me a shy smile through his face mask (click)
-Funny conversations with Katie, my budding gymnast
-The most beautiful sunset I have seen in a really long time

Football Season

2008-08-14T21:47:00.017-04:00

It's here.

It has begun.

FOOTBALL... is my favorite sport to watch. I love LOVE college football...I tolerate pro football...but in essence...all football is good. It is part of the fall season where things get even a little chilly in Florida and once in a while, I get to open the house up and maybe even (gasp) wear a sweater.

I love to have people over to "watch the game"...I love to pull out UF's orange and blue colors, wear my favorite Gator garb.....make nachos, put burgers on the grill and scream at the TV as my Gators battle for a win. My stomach is in knots before and during each game. When we win, I feel relieved for one more week...and when we lose, I will wear my Gator hat and t-shirt all day Sunday..... in a silent but visual show of loyal solidarity.

I am a Gator.

Go Gators.

But I have a new football player to watch this season. He has been out of circulation for a while, so they may have to redshirt him. He is light for his age, but his heart is pure and his work ethic is impeccable. He is incredibly cute and as smart as anyone I have ever met.

Oh, did I mention? This player is my son.

We went to get him fitted for his equipment this afternoon. He was so excited, he didn't want to take it off...

...even hours later, as he watched TV.

God...thank you for giving me this kid.

I don't know how I got so lucky. :)

Vigilance

2008-08-09T20:50:00.007-04:00

This is what she does every time we bake something in the oven.

Tonight it was lemon poppy seed bread.

Which she made all by herself.

Love her.

Comfort

2008-08-03T20:26:00.025-04:00

This place holds great meaning for me...

it's where I brought my newborn babies to imprint their painted feet on a plate for Father's Day...
where I made presents for my children's special teachers...
where my kids painted numerous masterpieces over the years, that are now displayed throughout our home....
where we celebrated birthdays, including the year Jordan turned six...
where I joined many Girl's Nights with a bottle of wine under my arm, and bonded with friends...
and the place where I froze the size of Jordan and Katie's childhood handprints into a glazed print. As I look at those plates from across the room right now, I know this...if those plates ever broke, my heart would break, too.

We hadn't been there in a couple of years, and it has changed ownership, so I wondered if it would still be the same...
Would it still be warm and inviting?
Would the new owner still greet you with a smile, eager to help you be your most creative self?
Would each table be covered in thick, white paper, and hold water in handpainted bowls and brushes in quirky mugs?
Would each chair be different, handpainted in colorful mismatched patterns?
Would the room be filled with soothing, classical music and warm, natural sunlight?

Would the overall mood of the place still firmly state: "You are creative...anything goes...please be yourself and just...PAINT" ?

Yes...Yes...YES.

It's still the same wonderful place it has always been.

Happy sigh. :)

This was oh...so...PEACEFUL.

Katie and Savannah were fascinated by the purple goop they use to coat every piece before it goes into the kiln...and so was I. :)

Future masterpieces, pre-purple goop...we pick them up Tuesday. :)

Tips For A Happy Life

2008-08-02T18:11:00.012-04:00

Pancake Party

2008-08-02T16:40:00.020-04:00

I turned the kitchen over to them this morning...just shuffled to the refrigerator, set out the ingredients, and said "go at it, girls"...

I was still too sleepy to make it myself, so I just curled up on the couch, sipped my hot coffee... watched...and listened...to them from under my blanket.

It was heaven.

Their conversations are priceless:

Katie concentrating so hard on cracking the egg...she always sets her jaw forward like this when she focuses:

uh...hello...how do they propose to flip these??

I retreated back to my comfy couch and watched them try:

bite sized yummies:

they gave me the tiny one on the left...the littlest pancake, with one chocolate chip:

and I was happy to have it. :))

For Carin

2008-08-02T09:06:00.032-04:00

Thank you for sharing Savannah with us!! I just ADORE her. She is kind, funny, thoughtful, confident, sweet, and BEAUTIFUL...inside and out!! I feel lucky that Katie can call her a friend. These girls are magic together.

After dinner at El Primo, (my kids' favorite place for pizza, as it shows kid movies and announces your name on the microphone when your food is ready)......we went home to enjoy a Broadway style dance production that these two sweet girls came up with, out of the blue...with THREE songs...complete with invitations....requirements for each invitee to call Savannah's cell phone to RSVP (listening to Jamie calling in was hilarious)....then they handed out programs...and we had special seating with namecards. It was beyond precious.

My all-time favorite dance moment was when Miley Cyrus sings "if you text me...I'll delete it...let's be clear"...they each took a cell phone out of their pocket, opened it simultaneously, and pushed the button. And yes, I got it on camera. :)

The following is just a glimpse into the memories being made...this is........SO...FUN...TO...WATCH.

Attention...cell phone move coming up...

Big finish...and they shouted: "GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!"

Watching the replay...

Carin...she is in good hands and we LOVE HER!!!

Savannah is truly an incredible kid.

You and Joel did good, my friend. :)

Recount, please.

2008-07-30T01:10:00.010-04:00

We were ROBBED.

Gainesville did not win ESPN's much coveted, highly anticipated, "TitleTown USA" contest.

I'm off to pout now.

Rebuttal:

GO...GATORS!!

Take Me Out To The Ballgame...

2008-07-27T20:42:00.022-04:00

My kids are alike in many ways.

Despite being of the opposite sex, and nearly three years apart in age, they share many of the following traits:

They are affectionate.
They love music.
They are sensitive.
They possess a strong sense of family.
They are loyal.
They are competitive.
They are thoughtful.
They love to argue with each other.
They are stubborn.
They can be picky eaters.
They are athletic.
They love going to the movies.
They are confident.
They are sweet.
They love to have the last word.
They love animals.
They are empathetic.
They have a razor-sharp sense of humor.

One significant difference between J & K …how they form and define friendships.

Katie makes friends fast, easily, and with nearly anyone her age…or younger or older, for that matter. She seems to find a common bond with someone in a crowd. She has no problem going into new social situations not knowing ANYONE…and will emerge at the end with a new name to talk about, a story about someone new, whom she has bonded with in even the smallest of ways. I marvel at this quality, because it’s not something I possess. In this way, she is a lot like Jamie, I think. He is at ease in any crowd, and feels comfortable talking to anyone, no matter how much or little they have in common. I think I have gotten better in this area, but I still generally sit in wonder at how easy it is for the two of them.

Jordan is a little more guarded about who he lets in. He is selective and extremely loyal in his friendships. He doesn’t really need a LOT of them. He has friends he has had since Kindergarten, and that suits him just fine...he doesn’t seem to need any more. And, in his words, “boys my age can be so immature, Mom”. The friends he has now, they have passed his litmus test…the test of time…through 6 years of elementary and one year of middle school.

We took the kids to a Ft. Myers Miracle baseball game a few weeks ago…and two of Jordan's close friends came along. These are two sweet boys, twins whom I taught in Kindergarten 6 years ago…and today, they are still the same good, sweet, polite kids... just a little more grown up. I just adore these boys, and I love that Jordan has such a close bond with them. So it was just good to see the three of them have a great time that night...

We sat over third base...and one of the players tossed a ball right to Jordan...and he was thrilled, to say the least...

Before long, they all had one...

When we first got there (after a 35 minute drive), it was all rainy (ruh-roh)...

but then we saw this...

Kate still wasn't impressed. This girl did NOT want to be there. She was throwing a serious pout fest.
The following picture is the best she could give me, when I ordered her to "SMILE".

She warmed up later, after a hot dog and soda...

To watch the game, the boys found a patch of grass at the bottom of a hill...

It's so funny what Florida kids will do when they FINALLY find a hill, just like kids do up North...it's the same everywhere...

Yes, I asked them to pose for this picture, and so glad I did...

FUN...IS...GOOD.

Tooth Tales

2008-07-23T14:15:00.007-04:00

We had an orthodontic consultation for Jordan the other day. Yes, he needs braces, and yes, it will cost a lot. Oh well. Part of parenthood.

Two stories about getting braces…one funny, the other…well, I don’t know, you decide.

1) Funny Story:
When the issue of cost came up, Jordan seemed concerned. Like we might just lose our entire net worth over straightening his teeth. It was so cute. As in his way, he stewed about this for a day or two. Then, as we were walking into Wal-Mart one day, he asked,
“Mom, are braces expensive?”

Me: “They can be”

J: “Like how much, over a thousand?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I think mine cost 3 thousand, and that was a loooong time ago.”

J: (saying nothing, just looking concerned)

Me: “Don’t worry, hon, we will be fine. And they have payment plans, so it all works out. …And you’re worth it” (shooting him a smile with a reassuring back pat)

J: (more silence)

We continued our shopping in Wal-Mart. I forgot all about it, until the ride home:

J: “Mom?”

Me: “Yeah babe.”

J: “Even though braces cost a lot, is it OK if we don’t get the painful plan for me?”

Me: “huh?” (trying to process)

J: “Yeah you said they have PAINFUL plans, and I don’t think I want that one, even if it’s cheaper…ya know, I’m just sayin'…”

Me: (trying to suppress laughter, shock, and utter adoration for this boy, all in one moment) “Oh, no, honey…NO…I said they have PAYMENT plans, not PAINFUL plans...”

J: “Oh...thank GOD."

That poor child thought he was going to get the painful kind of braces, just to save his parents a few bucks. Needless to say, this is now a solid running joke in our house.

2)“I don’t Know How To Feel About This” Story:
So the orthodontist is looking over Jordan’s teeth. She is telling him to open, close, pulling his lips all around, and verbally giving her notes to her assistant who is typing away.

Ortho: “Yep, he’s ready”

Me: “What about his baby teeth, what happens when the rest fall out?”

Ortho: “He doesn’t have any baby teeth”

W……T…….F.

Me: “What?? I thought for sure he had some” (pretty certain she must just be mistaken)

Jordan: "Nope, they are all gone." (looking pretty happy with himself, like he just made a home run)

Me: “but you just lost one the other day…”

Jordan: “That was Katie, Mom.”

Me: “Oh.”

Questions with no answers…
How could my baby have NO BABY TEETH?
How could I not know this?
How could I have let this momentous occasion slip by, without snapping the appropriate photos, and perhaps sliding a few extra bucks under his pillow?

And where IS that last tooth!? WHAT KIND OF MOTHER AM I!!!

Sigh. He really is growing up. But I do love the person he is becoming.

In honor of his LAST baby tooth lost, and also in the name of self redemption... I dug through my picture files and found his FIRST tooth ever lost...and got to work.

Now THAT, I have documented. :)

Thank you

2008-07-21T09:51:00.006-04:00

There is so much in this life to be happy about. This is especially clear to me after a relaxing, FUN, giggle-filled weekend with my Mom and sisters.

So...today I am grateful for...

-a great girls weekend

-sisters who are my best friends

-sharing wine while we get ready

-toasting before the first sip

-admiring my sisters' mothering

-a "fun" Mom who loves her daughters like no other

-a hotel that holds so many special memories

-the lobby with the beautiful scents, stone fireplace, and super shiny wood floors

-napping in the hammock

-phone calls from home

-waterfall sounds

-finding a new favorite restaurant

-telling stories about my kids to people that love them as much as I do

-the waiter who was a "future Jordan"

-getting away from it all

-real conversation

-people watching

-yummy chicken wraps

-two kids that make me so happy and proud I could literally burst

-a capable husband who loves spending time with his kids alone

-deciding to go down the lazy river

-bringing lots of books and magazines to girls weekend and not reading a word because we talked the whole time

-my beautiful new lens, a surprise gift from my family

-a dad who just wants his girls to be happy

-feeling happy, content, and oh-so-lucky for being born into the family that I did. :)

Rainy Spa Day

2008-07-16T23:36:00.018-04:00

You know how there are days when you just want to decompress, and get away from it all? My Katie felt that way today. She is going through some neighborhood friendship (aka "mean girl") issues, and was really sad this afternoon.

So, after she burst into the house in tears for the third time in 24 hours, I resisted the urge to march down the street and give said mean girl my "gentle but firm" talk about how girls should treat their so-called best friends the same, no matter WHO is standing next to you at any given moment speech (and believe me, I envisioned the entire thing, and had actually planned my words for hours prior). Doing this would have made me feel SO SO good and all protective, but eventually the speech would have accomplished nothing except Kate learning the life lesson, "Hey, just go crying to Mom, and she works it all out for me".

Yikes. Not so much.

So instead, I asked her to go for a drive with me in this dreadfully rainy weather.

"Where will we go?" she asked. "Oh, shopping and browsing for cool stuff, I don't know, let's just go somewhere".

She wasn't that into it. She was all defeated. Pouty face, still wiping tears away...but I made her go anyway. :)

The drive was pretty quiet. I could tell: a) she didn't see much point to this, and b) she was still thinking about her friend who hurt her feelings. She needed a little more time, so I tried to just say nothing.

So we went to Marshall's...just like Carin. (I mean, the store is, after all, the holy grail of all that is female.) We browsed aisles and smelled candles. Kate found some cute tank tops for dance camp. I found a cool wooden salad bowl on clearance. Then a darling stationery set with the letter "K" for her. We picked up odd items in the clearance aisle and said "wow, this is only TWO bucks". Listened to the rain pouring outside and forgot all about mean girls!!

Next stop...Sally Beauty Supply. I wanted to get some new mascara, and she found a 99 cent lip gloss.

Then she saw this...

and said... "Mom, someday I wanna do facials like they do in a real spa."

So...we did.

And...we have pictures. Brace yourself.

Katie before:

Katie after:

Katie applying mask to Mom:

(and I was giggling the entire time because: a) the mask was SO cold.... and b) I couldn't stop laughing at the sight of her green face and pink lips) All I heard was "Mom, hold STILL"...and I could NOT stop laughing at the seriousness of that green face...

Mother and daughter having a REALLY good time, but we can't smile because our green masks will crack and start to itch:

Heartprint Book

2008-07-16T11:42:00.003-04:00

You know how you read some books, and you know you will always have a tiny piece of it in your heart? I call them heartprint books. This book is one of those books for me. It's about two lifelong friends who met in Kindergarten and are now in their fifties. Lots of names/dates/references to the Ohio area, so anyone from there would really like it.

As I read about the two of them in Kindergarten, I wondered if any friends will meet like that in my class this year? And how many already have? :)

Little Girl in a Big Chair

2008-07-15T07:45:00.002-04:00

This is my girl last night. It was during Reading Time. I was supposed to be reading, but I couldn't take my eyes off her. So I snapped this picture.
The silk jammies. The pillow placed behind her back for extra comfort. The freshly showered hair held back by her eye guard, that she will later slide down over her face when she sleeps. Her favorite monkey blanket carefully smoothed over her. The place by her feet is where she hopes the cat will settle.

Then......... this morning, I walked by her room to peek at her sleeping, and saw this laid out on her floor:

Apparently we have a big day planned. :)

Missing Cousins

2008-07-14T08:07:00.007-04:00

I miss these kids. I miss how cute they are. I miss how they interact with J&K. I miss how much they change each time I see them. I miss the sense of family we all feel when we are together. I miss how they are amazed by our dog and cat. I miss their funny expressions. I miss how they remind me of a time gone by when J&K were that young. I miss how my kids suddenly become role models in their presence, and rise to the occasion.

I miss how they look up to J&K as if they possess hero status. I miss how they bring a youthful innocence to our time together. I miss how my kids don't fight when they are around. I miss how they smile. I miss their chubby cheeks and toddler voices. I miss how they still need help doing the littlest things.

I miss how when we all meet again, it's like we were never apart.

It's natural. It's cousins. It's FAMILY.

I miss these kids.

Perseverance

2008-07-11T16:55:00.009-04:00

So proud of my boy today. He played in a golf tournament and came in second place. After countless tournaments in which he watched his peers hit better, score lower, and accept their trophies in the midst of cheers and applause, Jordan finally had his turn today.

But my pride for him is not simply rooted in the fact that he finally placed. Is he happy and proud of himself? YES. Does it make me happy for him? YES. Did I give him a big hug as tears formed in my eyes? Hell to the YES! (cursing effect for Donna)

My pride for Jordan swelled after I learned that he overcame a VERY rough first hole (5 putt) at the beginning of the tournament. In the past, this turn of events has caused occasional bad moods, negative self talk, crossed arms, and frustrating conversations with Jamie as they traveled in the golf cart to "find his ball". Over time, these behaviors have gradually faded... and he has learned patience, maturity, and true golf ettiquette.

So today, instead of getting discouraged, upset, or just giving up...my sweet boy recorded his huge number, regrouped his thoughts, slung his golf bag over his shoulder, and trudged on to hole number two in this blazing summer heat. And he didn't look back.

And THAT'S why I'm proud. :)

How can I love a kid THIS MUCH...and it keeps getting better. :)

Love this...

2008-07-07T00:51:00.007-04:00

Happy Birthday, America

2008-07-06T00:48:00.027-04:00

Chef Katie

2008-06-30T16:08:00.001-04:00

Has anyone tried this stuff??

2008-06-26T11:39:00.014-04:00

I ordered this on a whim from a fundraiser through Andrea's daughters' preschool.
It's awesome. The kids had a ball.
After all those years telling them not to...this is the kind of Play-Doh they CAN eat!! BONUS.

BEFORE AND AFTERS:

EERIE RESEMBLANCE...

If you want to try this for yourself, click HERE. It's great for rainy days, sunny days, keeping them occupied and happy for a long time, distracting them when they are on your last nerve, turning a bad mood into a good one, filling the house with the smell of baking cookies, and just plain ole bribery. Just sayin'.

And you get to eat the leftovers because they make so many. At least I heard some people do that. :)

Happy Halloween...ala 2001

2008-06-26T00:03:00.002-04:00

Random thoughts as I made this page...

She was in preschool...had just turned three.
He had been in Kindergarten for two months. Loving it. Almost 6 years old.
This was Jordan's first year choosing his own costume...when I couldn't persuade him to be a pumpkin...a bunny...or something otherwise just as cute. I gave him parameters. He chose an outifit with a weapon. I was devastated. We survived. The picture of him posing as a ninja makes it all worth it.
Katie's smile in this picture CRACKS ME UP. It is also SO HOW SHE WAS at three years of age. God, she was just so spicy. (Still is:)
I looove how he is holding her hand.
Katie wore that outfit for weeks after Halloween had passed...she particularly loved the fur lined skirt, but especially the shoes that made the "click click" sound. To this day, when one of us is wearing a heel, Kate and I call them "click click shoes". :)
My hair is literally a helmet.
I love how she positions her feet in this picture, like she is going to prom or something.
He is missing a tooth...it was the first one to come out, and he had just lost it weeks before.
They got along SO WELL at this age.
I miss the pink house.
I love them so much.

Ripping Off The Band Aid

2008-06-23T00:19:00.005-04:00

Well, I did it. I have gone through every digital image I can find of J&K.

There's a LOT.

Pretty much freaked out for 24 hours, looking at it all and trying to wrap my brain around how to organize the images into both a chronological blueprint of their lives so far, and also do it in a way that is creative and cute. Holy shit.

Had to go away from it for a while to think. Went to church. Actually prayed about the photos. Came back to the photos. Ugh, not much better. There is so much and its all over the place. Got mad at my past self for not being more meticulous about labeling and organizing pictures in a coherent way. Went to the driving range and took out frustration on golf balls. There's that's better. Came back tonight. Moved, copied, labeled, and categorized. A little better now. I have a plan. It's in the baby stages and quite shaky, but it's a plan.

There is a bright side to all of this, though...I get to spend hours looking at the two little faces I have missed so much...

Memories

2008-06-21T13:08:00.009-04:00

I have two scrapbooks.

One is for Jordan...his first two years.

The second one is for Katie...her first two years.

I love these books. I worked for endless hours to crop, mount, journal, decorate, sticker, and preserve each phase of their baby-ness in an "acid-free" bubble.

I literally "cropped 'til I dropped". (Thank you, Creative Memories...I love your company for pioneering the scrapbooking frontier, and opening this creative, love-driven world to me.)

Then, in 2000, I bought a Kodak digital camera. (Remembering it now, it seems so huge and bulky... little did I know that over time, my digital cameras would be big...then go tiny...then get even bigger)
I bought the first one so I would have enough "pixels" (and I didn't know what this meant, the guy at Circuit City just told me to get a LOT) to really capture every moment in its truest form.

So now, I have years and years and YEARS of precious photos...images of J&K's childhood...locked in jpegs, gifs, and God knows what else. Over the years I have thought about those pictures and wished I had them in my hands...so I could touch them...shuffle through them in a shoebox...or tape them to the fridge, instead of displaying them in a slide show on a computer screensaver.

It's time to join this digital scrapbooking world all my friends rave about. It's actually very fun, and the possibilites are endless.

Here is my first attempt.

Psstt...I think I'm hooked. :)

A Boy and His Caddie

2008-06-19T20:03:00.008-04:00

(click collage to enlarge)

Love this...

Jordan golfing in a tournament.

Dad on his bag.

They are focused, determined, and work great as a team.

They talk in a language reserved for golfers. They use words like drives, putts, chips, greens, fairways, bunkers, pins, backspin, yardage, and club selection.

They use phrases like "up and down", "on the beach", "pulled it", and "buried lie".

The caddie provides praise, encouragement, and suggestions when asked. He is patient, kind, and always positive.

He knows how tough the game is.

He also knows his son loves the game as much as he does.

My Dad

2008-06-16T08:56:00.014-04:00

This is my Dad.

He has loved me unconditionally throughout my life...and still does.

He supports me...no matter what.

He is constant...stable...and dependable.

He is the most generously helpful person I know.

He is always there for me.

He loves and supports my family.

He adores my kids...and they adore him right back.

I see him in myself on a daily basis.

He models lifelong health and fitness for me.

He has more "little quirks" than anyone I know.

He is devoted to his girls, their husbands, and their children.

I don't know what I would do without him.

He loves his three daughters more than we will ever know.

He thinks he is lucky to have us girls, but I think it's the other way around. :)

This is my Dad.

This is a great man.

Happy Father's Day, Dad...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

I'm not superstitious, BUT...

2008-06-13T21:48:00.008-04:00

I have never believed in superstitions.

I merrily skip under ladders. If I spill salt, I just clean it up. I laugh at my sister when she doesn't let me say that "certain number" three times in a row.

(SIX...sorry, Kel, it had to be done.)

Broken mirrors don't bother me. I scoff at black cats crossing my path...it's just a cute kitty to me. And if I get one of those emails that say "Forward this to 10 of your closest friends, or you will have seven years of bad luck/all your dreams will come true", I instantly delete it in disgust, even if it is about God. I don't believe God would punish me because I chose not to clog the internet with mass emails. He knows I believe in Him.

That said...bad things happened today.

And it is Friday the 13th.

WHAT THE!!!!

The Evidence:

1) My sister's hubby David woke up in EXCRUCIATING PAIN. Doubled over. Fetal position. Vomiting from pain. Emergency room. Battery of tests. SCARY. Turns out he has kidney stones. He is still in incredible pain as I type this.

2) I watched Baby Lily while they were at the hospital. This was the BEST part of my day. That child is angelic. God, I love her. I got to hold her and smell her sweet head and breathe in her baby breath. BABY HEAVEN.

The only thing unlucky about this was that she was a little fussy, and she is NEVER fussy. EVER!! She is one of those even-keeled, calm babies that smiles constantly, and can be soothed in an instant. NOT like her to fuss. I believe babies sense things. She must be superstitious like her mother. I also think she knew how her Daddy was hurting. Or maybe she was just tired and I don't have her favorite swing at my house. Either way, Lily was sad, and that is unlucky to me. :(

3) 2 hours later...on the way home from Jordan's golf tournament...Jamie, the kids and I were stopped at a red light.

BAM!!!!!

We got rear-ended. HARD. Like, I felt my neck snap back and forth. What a shocker. Katie crying. Police lights. It was a three-car collision, and the driver that caused it was a little old man. He looked SO scared. He gets out of his car and uses his WALKER and OXYGEN TANK. My heart ached to look at him. That poor man. I didn't even care about my car at this point, I just couldn't take my eyes off his confused little face. That, and the college kid whose Trans-Am was sandwiched between our two cars. The police said the old man was driving with a suspended license, which meant he probably had to go to jail. I'm still thinking about him tonight, wondering where he is right now, does he have family...sigh. I hope he is ok, and I also hopes that he never drives again and has a really nice wife that will bring him to the places he wants to go.

It was my kids' first car accident. Their little eyes were SO huge, taking it all in...police lights, twisted metal, cursing, exchanging of license and registration, stopped traffic, onlooker drivers slowing to gawk at us...everything a car accident involves. I did my best to stay calm and let them know everything would be ok...but I know they are changed, just a little bit, forever. Heavy sigh.

Then again, as they grow up, they will always be able to say "My first car accident happened on Friday the 13th". So I guess that's kinda cool.

I just wonder how they will feel about ladders and black cats. :)

Seeking Inspiration

2008-06-12T14:37:00.007-04:00

Stumbled across this today...
I find this notion AMAZING.

365 days!!?? Like, every day?

I want to cook more. I want to provide meals for my family where we all sit down and share our day, like all the parenting experts say we should be doing on a nightly basis.

Heavy sigh. This area is my downfall.

I want to get better. Hopefully 365 Days of Crockpotting Ideas will help.

I just bookmarked it.

Hey, it's a start. :)

Girl Time

2008-06-11T20:53:00.012-04:00

Had a seriously fun girl night. The kind where you laugh 'til you pee your pants, tell and listen to really hilarious stories, and the one-liners are flying all night.

I SO needed a girls night. Home has been hectic as we settled back into daily routines. And I must say...laundry after vacation seriously sucks ass.

I already have a hate-hate relationship with laundry (this subject deserves its own post, hmmm...), but laundry, on top of all the other unpacking involved, bites it.

Add this to two seriously BORED kids who got WAY too used to having a lake in their backyard, and are now adjusting to the "I-have-nothing-to-do-now-that-school-is-out-even-though-I-could-NOT-wait-for-summer-to-arrive" blues.

Anyway, back to girls night. SO fun.

We went to see "Sex In The City"...........Original idea, I realize.

Even though it does NOT do the movie justice, watch this:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/sexandthecity/trailer/medium.html

I have to say... this is one of the best movies I have ever seen. This statement may make me sound shallow, but who cares.

I laughed, I cried hard...I even laughed whilst crying.

It had it ALL...highs, lows, humor, sadness, drama, beautifully shot "eye candy" scenes, and girl-bonding "women issues"...marriage, divorce, romance, pregnancy, children, parenting, sex, affairs, friendships, counseling, trust, betrayal, arguments, fashion, body issues.........and most importantly, female friendships.

Friendships where they don't care what you look like, how you dress, what car you drive, how your house looks, what parenting decisions you make, how happy or imperfect your life is...they JUST LOVE YOU.

Good and bad. Pretty and ugly. No judgements. And forgiveness, understanding, nurturing, and comfort are just a conversation away.

I love women friends like this. I think they are rare. I have some in my life, and I am so grateful. I wish I had more.

Sometimes a friend seems like they are, but then they are not. That makes me sad and it hurts. But I love the ones I am lucky enough to have in my life.

So, if you haven't seen this movie already, please do. I LOVED it, and I was not even a huge SATC fan. (just learned recently that this is an actual acronym for the show)

I'm not particularly into high fashion, New York, designer shoes, or being "fabulous".

Payless Shoes is my shoe Nirvana. ("You could pay more...but why?")

But, I AM into girlfriends, laughter, fun, support, honesty, trust, and having bonds with really incredible women who help me to be the best version of myself. Where I feel SAFE. Women who give me strength. This movie is a great example of all of the above.

And I highly recommend sneaking Cosmopolitans in plastic cups into the movie theater.

Just sayin'. :)

Home Again

2008-06-07T13:37:00.007-04:00

Back from vacation.

Back from lazy days, sleeping in, sunburned noses, outdoor cookouts, reading book after book, making new friends, cold beers, and late night board games.

Back from boat rides, tubing, kneeboarding, and sitting on the dock. Back from wading along the shore searching for little fish. Back from watching the sun dip into the lake with sand in my toes. Back from watching my kids have the time of their lives.

Back home.

It's good to be home. :)

Snapshots of a Sleepover

2008-05-30T23:57:00.007-04:00

Kate had her BFF over for a sleepover.

She loves sleepovers. She loves her friends. She loves talking, giggling, and all things girlish. She looks forward to sleepovers and makes lists of fun things they can do during the actual sleepover period of time. Once the friend arrives, she skips around the house with her and is on top of the world.

They plow through the "List Of Fun Things To Do":
Swimming...CHECK.
Hide and Seek...CHECK.
Scavenger Hunt...CHECK.
Change into matching silk jammies...CHECK.
Play cool music and sing along...CHECK.
Peruse Yearbook...CHECK.
Play the Wii...CHECK.
Spy on Brother and Giggle...CHECK.

Every time Katie asks if she can have a sleepover, she has such a desperately hopeful tone in her voice, as if she is holding her breath, silently pleading "please say yes...please say yes..." I crush her soul when I say no, and I make her day when the answer is yes.

This time, I made her day. :)

Secured Mother Of The Year status with Make Your Own Pizzas and Ice Cream Sundaes.
Still waiting on that trophy. They must be having it engraved or something.

The many faces of Katie...

God, I love this kid.